I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
