check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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