if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
