We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
In America we eat man semen.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
