Where did you get a picture of my penis
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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