SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
