soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize