We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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