i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
