All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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