By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
