I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
