every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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