It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
