i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
