I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize