i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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