Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize