id be glad to
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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