I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
send nudes
from the living room?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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