dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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