i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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