I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
