i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I need to calm my uterus...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
