If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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