Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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