you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
