Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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