I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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