I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
