Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
