also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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