It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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