Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
