It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
