im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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