Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
