maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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