my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
