When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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