There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
