they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
