i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
