I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
