Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
