This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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