the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Holy sore nipples Batman
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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