This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
