i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
