So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
