Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
