did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize