Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize