at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dear god my vagina.
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