I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
