So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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