Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
