Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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