I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
