well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
