Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
