So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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